It's the end of the first week of January -- do you know where your New Year's Resolutions are?

About half of Americans make some sort of resolution with the turning of the year, and at least half of them have dropped them within a week.

Here's my musings on how to make, remake, tweak resolutions: New Year's Resolutions That Really Work

"All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make, the better." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's no accident that I gave one of my sons the middle name of Emerson.

The feedback I got from the experiment I tried on the first Sunday – a new kind of meditation, suited for Ethical Culture, that involves talking and listening to another person – was overwhelmingly positive, and I’ll likely be trying that again.  I loved hearing what people found valuable in the interchange. It was different for different people.

What would it mean if we took more time in our lives to really listen to another person? Took some time to deliberately and mindfully practice listening to another, seeing the person in the "now" as we listen, not through a lens of all that we know of the person from the past, not through a lens of what we expect that person to say or do?

On this day, these are my hopes:

Remember life: that it can end so quickly, so senselessly is a reminder that life is precious.  Can we enjoy more moments we have of life?

 Remember what matters most: did people call others on 9/11 from their burning buildings to tell them how far they were on a work project?  Or did they call loved ones to say a good-bye, if they could?  Can we say "hello" and "welcome" while we're all here? To our loved ones, friends, and people who may become friends if we open ourselves?

Remember risk: on  that day, so many we now call heroes simply did what they could to try to save and preserve lives of others -- total strangers, often.

This summer, the Northern Virginia Ethical Society is going to be sponsoring many activities.  I wanted to highlight two summar programs that aren't sponsored by us, but that members have been part of planning and building:  Camp Quest Chesapeake and Family Heart Camp.  They're both week-long camps, both taking place near here at Prince William Forest Park.  Each link will take you to the camp's website for more information.  If you want to hear personally from one of our members about either camp, let me know and I'll try to put that person in touch with you.  Here's a bit more about them:

Thanks to all who participated in the October 3 "Parenting Beyond Belief" seminar

• the parents who brought their energy, questions, and ideas
• the many volunteers who helped set up, clean up, make and bring food, plan programs for the children (more than just child care for those 3 and older) and keep them safe and engaged, get the word out and plan the day's program
• the kids who participated in the children's program and got along so well with each other 
• and Dale McGowan, for his compassionate and idea-filled presentation.

We at the Northern Virginia Ethical Society hope to get to know more of you who were new on Saturday.  We welcome families of all kinds, whether you were able to participate in the workshop or not, whether

As part of the membership meeting in June, 2010, I asked members to remember two incidents this past year that stood out for them in the life of our Ethical Society -- one that they enjoyed, and one that they didn't enjoy so much.  I also asked that they try to boil down to one word the quality of life that they were wanting -- a quality of life they found in the moment they enjoyed, a quality of life that they found wanting in the moment that they didn't enjoy.  Out of those words, I created this word cloud:

As Memorial Day approaches, I remember that the day was initially created to honor the dead on both sides of a major conflict – the American Civil War – and in that remembering, to re-unite the nation that had nearly split in two. It was not to glorify war, or to justify the rightness of either side, but to mourn those who’d died and honor them as people, and to move forward in unity. (more on that: Memorial Day Origins)

Some of the topics which are discussed on the platform of the Northern Virginia Ethical Society are controversial topics.  Unless otherwise specified, the opinions expressed are those of the speaker -- even when I, as Leader, am speaking.

Ethics, in the view of an Ethical Society, is not about a list of rules or commandments. It's about a process of thinking for ourselves, and developing that ability over our lifetimes.  How many of us feel exactly about all ethical issues at age 30 as we did at 20?  At age 40 as at age 30? and so on.  Ethics is a lifelong exploration, and not everyone will come to the same conclusions.

Many of the other Ethical Societies have, somewhere on their building and often near or above the area where the platform speaker stands, some version of the Felix Adler quote, “The place where people meet to seek the highest is holy ground.”  (Felix’s original words actually were about “men” but he did seem to mean that in the inclusive sense.)  The reference is to the idea in many religions, and especially in the Hebrew scriptures, that there is some space that is especially holy — a place set aside, a place to be especially respected.  Adler’s idea was that it was not the place that was holy; it was the act of taking seriously high ideals together, as a community, that created “holiness.”

Living in a state where "race" is still a box to fill in on marriage licenses, I'm often reminded how parallel today's marriage equality issues are, legally speaking.  Some of the same arguments are even used (see "Why the Ugly Rhetoric Against Gay Marriage Is Familiar to This Historian of Miscegenation").  How simple to allow marriage, regardless of the race or gender of the partner!

Certainly the issue cannot just be procreation.  We do not dissolve marriages automatically if the partners cannot procreate, nor do we require procreation of married couples where the partners are different sexes or genders.

There are three other arguments sometimes floated in support of discriminating in marriage by gender of the partner, on the assumption that these are relevant parallels.