Dear Etty, 

Our next-door neighbor’s daughter recently graduated from college.  She and her boyfriend are looking for jobs.  During this transition, our neighbor agreed to take care of their dog.  Adopted from a humane society, the dog is a large German shepherd that my neighbor tells me is fearful of strangers.  The dog barks ferociously and goes into attack mode upon seeing me. He does the same thing with other people.  When the German shepherd lunges at me, my neighbor tells it, “Behave yourself.”  I do not want to alienate my neighbor but I do not want to live in fear. 

Suggestions? 

Cowering in Fairfax 

Dear CF, 

I am sorry for your plight.  This is not a good way to live.  In my experience, otherwise caring people sometimes acquire blind spots when it comes to their pets, their children, or their right to blare music on Saturday morning throughout the neighborhood while fixing their cars.  After all, doesn’t everyone like to wake up to Kenny Chesney?  Of course, many people act responsibly by following an unwritten, social contract.  Unfortunately, your neighbor is not among this category.   

Although you can hope the daughter and her boyfriend soon find jobs that permit them to reclaim their pet, your description makes me anxious for your safety.  Rather than wait for a successful bite, you may ask your neighbor to see the situation from your point of view.  That is, ask your neighbor to be empathetic.  Consider first acknowledging their predicament, then objectively describe your experience, and finally make a request.  “I know you are doing your daughter a favor in keeping Bluto.  Frankly, he scares me.”  You would then be in a position to make a request.  “Would you be willing to keep him away from me when you walk him?”   Empathy on your part means foregoing the blame game.   

If this proves unsuccessful, do you have an obligation to yourself and your other neighbors to let this neighbor know that you will be advising the proper authorities about this dangerous dog? 

Etty