Thanks to all who participated in the October 3 "Parenting Beyond Belief" seminar

• the parents who brought their energy, questions, and ideas
• the many volunteers who helped set up, clean up, make and bring food, plan programs for the children (more than just child care for those 3 and older) and keep them safe and engaged, get the word out and plan the day's program
• the kids who participated in the children's program and got along so well with each other 
• and Dale McGowan, for his compassionate and idea-filled presentation.

We at the Northern Virginia Ethical Society hope to get to know more of you who were new on Saturday.  We welcome families of all kinds, whether you were able to participate in the workshop or not, whether

As part of the membership meeting in June, 2010, I asked members to remember two incidents this past year that stood out for them in the life of our Ethical Society -- one that they enjoyed, and one that they didn't enjoy so much.  I also asked that they try to boil down to one word the quality of life that they were wanting -- a quality of life they found in the moment they enjoyed, a quality of life that they found wanting in the moment that they didn't enjoy.  Out of those words, I created this word cloud:

As Memorial Day approaches, I remember that the day was initially created to honor the dead on both sides of a major conflict – the American Civil War – and in that remembering, to re-unite the nation that had nearly split in two. It was not to glorify war, or to justify the rightness of either side, but to mourn those who’d died and honor them as people, and to move forward in unity. (more on that: Memorial Day Origins)

Some of the topics which are discussed on the platform of the Northern Virginia Ethical Society are controversial topics.  Unless otherwise specified, the opinions expressed are those of the speaker -- even when I, as Leader, am speaking.

Ethics, in the view of an Ethical Society, is not about a list of rules or commandments. It's about a process of thinking for ourselves, and developing that ability over our lifetimes.  How many of us feel exactly about all ethical issues at age 30 as we did at 20?  At age 40 as at age 30? and so on.  Ethics is a lifelong exploration, and not everyone will come to the same conclusions.

Many of the other Ethical Societies have, somewhere on their building and often near or above the area where the platform speaker stands, some version of the Felix Adler quote, “The place where people meet to seek the highest is holy ground.”  (Felix’s original words actually were about “men” but he did seem to mean that in the inclusive sense.)  The reference is to the idea in many religions, and especially in the Hebrew scriptures, that there is some space that is especially holy — a place set aside, a place to be especially respected.  Adler’s idea was that it was not the place that was holy; it was the act of taking seriously high ideals together, as a community, that created “holiness.”

Living in a state where "race" is still a box to fill in on marriage licenses, I'm often reminded how parallel today's marriage equality issues are, legally speaking.  Some of the same arguments are even used (see "Why the Ugly Rhetoric Against Gay Marriage Is Familiar to This Historian of Miscegenation").  How simple to allow marriage, regardless of the race or gender of the partner!

Certainly the issue cannot just be procreation.  We do not dissolve marriages automatically if the partners cannot procreate, nor do we require procreation of married couples where the partners are different sexes or genders.

There are three other arguments sometimes floated in support of discriminating in marriage by gender of the partner, on the assumption that these are relevant parallels. 

If you don't use Facebook, this will probably make no sense to you.  Even if you do use Facebook, it may make no sense to you.  Nevertheless, here it is for the pleasure of those to whom it may make sense:

• Moses is Departing Egypt:  A Facebook Haggadah

For Mother's Day, 2005, the platform address at the Northern Virginia Ethical Society looked at Jane Addams and social reform. I especially enjoyed that timing because my mother had been a #1 fan of Jane Addams, and had modeled her own professional life after what she got from the experience of Jane Addams. Addams also had a connection to the Ethical movement, which I bring out in the address.

You can find the address here as a PDF file (printable, formatted):  Jane Addams and Social Reform - May, 2005

On January 4, I spoke about empathy and its role in ethical living.  The link below will take you to a Google Video on empathy -- it's definitely a "rough, rough cut" as the producer has begun by putting together about 30 clips of Obama talking about empathy.

Have we ever had a leader, I wonder, who understands so much about empathy -- not "I feel your pain" but "I can try to connect with you because we are both human beings"?

• Barack Obama and Empathy - Rough Cut 1

What do you think?  How might empathy in the White House make a difference in the ethics of our country, of the world?

Leaders in the Ethical Culture movement have been creating a new statement of identity -- another of a series of attempts in our history to describe the core of Ethical Culture -- and the statement is now finished, and online.  Our Leader Intern, Hugh Taft-Morales, was one of the people who helped create the statement and bring it through the process.

Here are the first paragraphs, plus a link (below) to the full statement:

Dedicated to cultivating moral development in personal life and moral reform in society, Ethical Culture seeks to nurture relationships in which we act so as to elicit the best in others and thereby in ourselves, to provide inspiration and guidance for moral living, and to transform the way humanity views the meaning of life.